"Being divorced is like being a soldier. It means you have fought for your right to happiness. You have faced depression, a blow to your confidence and ego, and emerged stronger and triumphant. Instead of being a coward and living with injustice, you have raised the bar for your own life, and by doing so, given yourself a chance to move towards greater happiness. The rest of your life will be better, for you will always know how much worse it could have been"
Yes, I am in the process of a divorce. There I admitted it! It's taken me a long time to come to terms with it. To not shy away from the truth. To basically, not feel ashamed. Like there is something wrong with me!
The society we live in does its best to ensure we conform. They provide a checklist for our life. Starting with our career choices to our life choices. Get married by your mid 20's, ensure you have your first child before 30, ensure you have a second child because god forbid the first one should feel lonely! I mean seriously give me a freakin' break! It's my life! Yes, I fell into that trap. Yes, I admit - I made a mistake - but, I'm sure as hell not going to spend the rest of my life paying for it! So yes, I am happy that I walked when I did!
It would be very easy for me to lay all the blame at his door. God knows he's given me enough reason for it, but it doth take two hands to clap and yes, I am to blame as well. I could whine and whinge and give you the down-low on why it didnt work - but what would be the point? If its one thing that I've learnt through all this is that just like "to each their own", every marriage is unique in its own aspect. What works or doesnt work for me may not be the case with you and vice versa. So I am not going to preach and tell you the do's and dont's. I'm sure anyone reading this is adult enough to figure it out on their own.
It would be very easy for me to lay all the blame at his door. God knows he's given me enough reason for it, but it doth take two hands to clap and yes, I am to blame as well. I could whine and whinge and give you the down-low on why it didnt work - but what would be the point? If its one thing that I've learnt through all this is that just like "to each their own", every marriage is unique in its own aspect. What works or doesnt work for me may not be the case with you and vice versa. So I am not going to preach and tell you the do's and dont's. I'm sure anyone reading this is adult enough to figure it out on their own.
For the longest time, I couldnt bear to look at myself in the mirror. The image that stared back seemed almost alien. It took me a while to realise that the change was for the better. Yes, I still have all my spots and zits (who doesnt!) but, now the heaviness that used feel like it was smothering me has slowly disappeared and I feel so much more lighter and it shows! I think the biggest compliment I got a while ago was when my best friend told me that it was so good to see me just let go and laugh out loud. Apparently she doesnt remember me doing it for the longest time! Cant begin to even describe how good that made me feel.
So yes, I'm learning to live again and it feels bloody good! So until next time - this is me signing off! :)
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ReplyDeleteAwwww. .love u too woman!
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